


Play My Music

by HolisticThiam



Category: Dirk Gently - Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Dirk and Todd at Cambridge, Dirk plays the bass, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Music
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2019-01-21 06:52:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12451950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HolisticThiam/pseuds/HolisticThiam
Summary: Dirk's angsty first year at Cambridge and how Todd made it better.





	Play My Music

Dirk Gently played the bass in university. He was part of a band called Sun and Rain. Each member of the band was assigned a jacket with a color from the rainbow. Dirk sported a yellow jacket.

On stage they had so much energy. Dirk remembers running around the stage playing his heart out. He just couldn't help but be moved by the music and the audience's cheers. At Cambridge, everyone knew and adored them. Other bands on the campus looked up to them. If they had continued they could've gone international but not everyone in the band had the same ambitions. A few only saw the band as recreation, it was not something they wanted to do for the rest of their lives. While others found it too much to handle alongside their schoolwork. Dirk, however, knew that it was what he wanted to do.

Eventually, the gigs became rarer and rarer till there were none. Sometimes, the members would wear their respective jackets earning nods from the other members in the hallways. Dirk never left his yellow jacket. It was the only thing that made him believe he could belong somewhere, that he could fit in. Especially after Blackwing, a CIA experiment which failed miserably. It was supposed to bring people with extrasensory perception together. However, it only made them wish they were normal.

He had psychic powers. At least, that's what the people of Blackwing told him. He had hunches or guesses about how the universe worked. What was lacking was his ability to control them. Seldom could he force himself to predict what would happen next. The answers came to him. He couldn’t do anything to find them. No one in Blackwing seemed to understand that. Especially Colonel Scott Riggins, the head of Blackwing. Riggings didn't back down from giving him a good slap when he was wrong or couldn't fulfill his needs. Unfortunately, this happened more often than not. Needless to say, all of this left him with scarring memories and an eternal feeling of loneliness.

Everyday before going to class he set aside at least 20 minutes to play the bass. It was his favorite thing in the world and the only time he completely forgot about his rough beginnings. The bass kept him sane or at least let him bleed out his innate weirdness he couldn't seem to escape.

The hunches weren't spare. At first, no one noticed he knew things would happen except for one friendly face but that will be explained later. It must have begun with the historical studies exam accident. He was revising with a friend (who is unfortunately not a friend anymore) when she asked him what he thought the exam questions would be. Lo and behold, he guessed everything correctly! After another revision session (one too many) and another correct prediction, she quickly spread the news. Afterwards, everyone kept coming up to him to ask him what he believed exams would constitute of, even people from classes he never had. He was too polite to refuse answering and somehow he always got everything right.

It was just like Blackwing again. He could never escape it. Are you psychic? Can you guess what I'm drawing? It's just an experiment. That word _experiment_. It made bile come up his throat. He was an attraction to these people. A sort of circus. At least there weren't scary machines here, yet. "Yet..." Dirk whispered and then sighed as he lay in his bed. It was noon. He should've been with his classmates eating but instead he decided to stay in his room. He was tired of being interrupted during his meal to predict things. It only brought up unwanted memories. He missed the band more than ever now. His bass playing had risen up to a minimum of two hours per day. Sun and Rain had known nothing about Blackwing or his psychic powers. Thank goodness. However, now they knew and told stories about him. Cold, hard betrayal.

Still, one thing remained positive or at least one person (the friendly face), Todd Brotzman! Todd had known everything from the start after a tragic accident involving his sister, Amanda. They were in the same musical analysis class. As Dirk waited outside the lecture hall for class to begin he suddenly had a terrible vision of a woman drowning. After the vision had passed he saw Todd and somehow, he just knew the person he had seen was related to Todd. He had to do something but what? Todd would never believe him. No one would and he understood why. Still, this person Todd knew was drowning, _drowning_. To act or not to act? This shouldn't even be a question! He was going to take action.

"Todd? Todd?" He called softly.

"Yeah...” Todd responded.

"Do you have a sister or an aunt or a cousin who is swimming right now?"

"No-o?" he replied perplexed. "I mean I don't know." He scrunched his eyebrows. "Maybe?"

"They all know how to swim right?"

"Last time I checked, yes. Why?"

" _Well_... I don't know how to put this nicely _but_... one of them is drowning." He said starting off cautiously but ending with an urgent tone.

Todd stared obviously unamused. "Is this a prank? Cause if it is, it's not funny."

"I'm not joking. I swear." Dirk took a deep breath.  
_I should've just shut up. I've dug myself a deep hole I'll never be able to get out of._ He thought.

Then, the vision came back violently as if taunting him. The dreading look in his eyes must have made Todd realize something was wrong.

"She's drowning. I can see her." He said faintly too overtaken by the vivid imagery of his vision.

"Okay... How does she look?" He asked hesitantly.

"She has long dark brown hair with a-a messy bang. She has big hazel eyes and pale skin. She's small, smaller than you and she’s wearing a black umm... embroidered leather j-jacket which says A-Amanda and black skin-ny jeans." Dirk chokes out. The vision was excruciating to watch. "You mu-must do s-something."

"Amanda! Shit." Todd yanked his phone out. He quickly dialed Amanda's number. The disappointed look on his face revealed that he had landed on her voicemail. That's when Dirk realized they weren't alone anymore. The whole class was filing into the lecture hall giving Dirk and Todd odd and confused looks as they passed.

"It's for a play we're writing." Dirk said. "We wanted to see how it could be acted out in real life."

Todd, unable to speak only nodded feverishly. They entered the lecture hall but anxiety never left Todd's countenance.

Sat in the back, Todd kept fiddling with his phone sending quite urgent looking text messages. Dirk had never seen someone type so fast (even an angry Riggins when writing his disappointing results!). This obviously had hit a very personal part of his life. Dirk kept stealing worried glances at him. He felt so guilty for unleashing such stress on a single person but he just had to react. This was a life or death matter. He could feel it. Then, the clouds cleared up. Todd seemed to have received good news. Amanda, whoever she was, was safe. He smiled, she was safe, she was SAFE, SHE WAS SAFE. Thereafter, it was Todd's turn to glance at Dirk. He had so many questions. Too many questions. Dirk knew this. Dirk feared this. Now, the whole school would know.

Todd never told a soul. Dirk explained his psychic abilities and told the sad tale of Blackwing. The latter was painful and took a while. Todd never forced him though. If he saw that Dirk was in pain, he'd change the topic. In fact, there were still so many things he hadn't said. They shared numbers and whenever Dirk had nightmares or was having a bad day Todd let him vent about it. Dirk also constantly asked Todd about the latter's utterly fascinating life during their shared lunches. Todd had travelled to an incalculable amount of places, he knew oodles of languages (Dirk loved hearing him speak French), he played the guitar since he was 6 (and had been in 11 different bands throughout his life. He’s only 18.) and was a die-hard fan of Indie music (so much so that he had trouble accepting Dirk's love for Mika at first). Dirk learned some less fun stuff too like his sister contracting Pararibulitis, a rare nerve disease which made hallucinations feel real (Todd checked on his sister everyday) and how treatment would be difficult to get due to him going to Cambridge. Therefore, he worried about his future (he felt selfish thinking about this) as he may not be able to attend next year. Lately, Todd had been searching for a job or jobs but so far he had no luck. He hoped at least the record shop nearby would hire him.

Todd found his leather jacket funny but admired it nonetheless. He only ever wore sombre colors. Therefore, as a joke Dirk bought Todd a dark blue leather jacket for his birthday. Since then, he hadn't gone a day without wearing it. It has been 4 months now.

The two were inseparable. Dirk even ventured to call Todd his friend. It was rarer to see one without the other than the two together. Until word got out that he was really good at guessing test questions. Ever since then, Dirk had been avoiding Todd. He was worried that Todd was going to use him like so many had done in the past. Nonetheless, his phone had been receiving a daily flow of texts for the past week. Many just asking if he wanted to hang out, others filled with concern. Todd seemed anxious to see him.

A soft knock at his door woke him from his tumultuous thoughts. There was another one and then a flurry of knocks.

"Diirk?" He heard. "Are you in there?"

It was Todd. He should've seen this coming. How ironic. Dirk pulled himself out of his bed and dragged himself towards the door. He slowly turned the knob only slightly opening the door. He peeped his head out. Todd stood there with ruffled hair. The bags under his eyes matched the dark blue jacket he still wore. Concern was an understatement.

"Hey" Dirk mumbled unable to hide his sour mood. He had a staggering bedhead and his clothes were wrinkled. He wasn't even bothering to tuck his shirt in anymore or to wear his oddly endearing jellyfish ties.

"Okay. Not to be rude but you sound and look miserable." Todd said with a worried expression.

"Everything's wrong." Dirk muttered. Everything was too much for him lately even talking. He couldn't take it anymore. Maybe Todd would help him forget for a bit.

Dirk opened the door just enough to let him in. He had his school bag along with a plastic bag. He handed the latter to Dirk.

"Here, I brought lunch. Your classmates told me they hadn't seen you come into the dining hall. I also have mine in my bag. I didn't want you to eat alone."

Todd looked around the room.

"I see you haven't had many guests lately." Todd teased trying to lighten the mood.

There were notebooks and loose papers strewn out on the floor. The desks was covered in miscellaneous textbooks, books, pencils, pens and erasers. You could barely see a laptop peeping out. The bed obviously wasn't made and in the corner of the room clothes piled up.

"I haven't had time to do any cleaning." He said curtly before quickly regretting it. "But thank you for the meal and for wanting to eat with me."

Todd flashed him a pained smile. "I'm just checking in on a friend in need."

They sat down on Dirk’s bed and ate their lunch in silence. Suddenly, Dirk put down his sandwich. Wet eyed, he looked as if all his pent up emotions were crawling up to his face.

"I can't take it anymore." He spat out.

"I can't even leave my room without being stopped by nosy people. I just wish to be left alone. I don't want to talk about my 'powers'. I don't want to give people questions or even answers to exams that haven't even happened. Can't people just work? Studying isn't that complicated if you put your mind to it. Why do people always want to know what happens before it does? Why can't they wait to find out? It's not as fun as they think. There's so much responsibility and so much pain." he stopped for a moment, "I don't want to be in this school anymore." He said.

"I just feel like I'm in Blackwing again. As if I'm just an experiment and not a human being. People only care about my powers, not me. And I-I I miss the band. At least then people liked me for what I did, for something I put a lot of effort into not just a random gift or curse I can't control." Dirk lay down on his bed overladen with emotions.

No one spoke for a while.

"You saved my sister's life. Thanks to you I contacted my parents who were able to call an ambulance for her. She's getting treatment now for her Pararibulitis. All because of you. You can do so much more than give away stupid test questions. You're a hero Dirk and if I might add the best bass player I've ever met. I've been to a few Sun and Rain concerts and every time I couldn't help but watch you running around having the time of your life. I tried capturing your energy in my performances but I could never come close. You're so passionate in everything you do and it's amazing."

Dirk looked directly at Todd's eyes, a shy smile on his face.

"If you want we can go to classes together and I can keep away the invasive people. I can be your bodyguard." Todd continued.

"What about when we don't have classes together?"

"We can still meet up. I'll stay with you as long as I can."

"Thank you Todd, really. You're a great friend."

"I'm only doing what anyone else would do."

Dirk sat up and gave him a quick hug pulling away before Todd had time to react. The room was silent but heavy with emotion. Dirk shakily stood up to prepare for his afternoon classes. Todd shortly got up too leaning against a wall. As Dirk shoved notebooks and textbooks into his backpack, he thought that he might walk through the hallways without almost breaking down this time. Todd, what would he do without him?

Todd patiently waited for him. They left the messy dorm in silence. As he promised, Todd stopped people from asking Dirk questions. For once, the latter actually felt happy. In musical analysis they sat next to each other. Dirk felt safer. Musical analysis became his favorite class to go to and be in. Recently, they've partnered up on a project to write a song as a duo. The song came pretty easily to them and they've been practicing it for the past week. When Dirk seems more in the blues than usual Todd frets about him.

In other classes, things were not so rosy as Todd wasn’t there. He usually sat in the back praying no one would sit next to him but more often than not someone did, especially during exams. In those classes, he doodled on his notebooks. Occasionally, he sketched little drawings of Todd. How Todd looked when he laughs, when he smiles, when he's worried, when he's cross, when he's concentrated, or even him playing the guitar.

After classes, they sometimes had jam sessions. Todd brought his guitar and they played together. Those were his favorite moments. Todd had a band called Mexican Funeral. Dirk considered himself their biggest fan. He went to all of their gigs. When they played together Todd sometimes gave him teasers of a new song they were working on. Feedback was greatly appreciated. Dirk never hesitated to be candid. He really wanted Mexican Funeral to be huge.

Dirk never realized how present Todd was in his life until he was away. He had gone back across the pond to see his family over the summer holidays. Dirk stayed on campus. Almost nobody was there so he could walk around without having to worry about too many people coming up to him. He spent most of his time alone playing bass. He attempted to write songs but they struggled to come together correctly. Finding the perfect words to describe how he felt about the ocean eyed boy was impossible. Yet, he couldn't get him out of his head. He often imagined cuddling with him or listening to songs that were too loud for him but that Todd couldn't help but dance to. Todd was an excellent dancer by the way. The two had danced together in Todd's dorm after a long day. Absorbed in the moment, they hadn't noticed Todd's roommate walk in. When the song was over his roommate, Derek, slowly clapped. Todd twirled Dirk around with a huge grin on his face. Then, he bowed gracefully. Dirk followed giggling with red cheeks. His bow was more decomposed.

"This is Derek my awesome roommate, except that he's obsessed with Ariana Grande."

Dirk gasped out of indignation.

"Ariana Grande is fantastic. How dare you criticize her Todd!"

Derek grinned triumphantly.

"I tell him that everyday but he never listens."

Todd rolled his eyes.

"So you're the Dirk Gently? I've heard a lot about you."

"Oh. Yeah?" Dirk's voice faltered. His now emotionless eyes betrayed his attempt at quelling his growing anxiety.

_He's going to ask about my psychic powers._ He thought.

Todd immediately saw that Dirk was panicking.

"From me." He interjected. "I talk about you."

"Yeah, I agree." Derek replied feigning annoyance.

Dirk's countenance slipped into a small smile.

"He's my best friend. Of course I talk about him. That's what friends do talk about each other to other people." Todd said awkwardly. It was his turn to be anxious.

"Talk about each other A LOT."

"I just care about him... a lot."

Dirk felt honored that Todd had called him his best friend.

"I'm your best friend?" Dirk asked softly.

Todd looked over at Dirk with a surprised look on his face.

"Yes, yes you are. You didn't... know that?"

Dirk shook his head slowly. Todd's face collapsed into a frown.

"You've never had a best friend before have you?"

Derek grabbed a jacket and then left the room. Before he left, Todd mouthed him a thank you and waved him goodbye. Then, he turned back to Dirk.

"Dirk, you're the greatest friend I've ever had. I don't know what I would do without you."

Dirk looked confused. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?" Todd said.

"Well, I'm kind of annoying. I never shut up, like _ever_. I'm not exactly always fun to hang out with due to my difficult past which I keep burdening you with. I'm sorry about that by the way. I'm constantly overexcited and want to do _everything_ even obviously reckless things. Not to mention the terrible, terrible things happen around me all the time."

"First of all, you're not a burden. Second, you think I would hate you for all of that?"

"Yes." Dirk replied stoutly. "I mean no-o. Maybe?" his face loosened for an instance then folded into a perplexed state, "Other people usually hate me for that."

"Well, I'm not other people so I don't hate you for any of it. In fact," He paused. "It only makes me like you more."

Dirk pulled Todd into a bear hug resting his chin on Todd's shoulder. Todd wrapped his arms around him.

"I like you Todd. So much." he whispered, tears welding up in his eyes, "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"Me too."

They hugged in silence for an eternity but for them eternity is too short.

Dirk and Todd found it impossible to pull away and when they did they only leaned back in towards one another. When their lips met both their minds vacated leaving room only for the kiss. They had wanted this for so long without ever realizing it. Every moment they spent together they grew closer and closer like a train traveling to it's destination. This was the final station and there was no going back.

  
Todd returned a week ago. Since then they've been living their honeymoon phase. There was plenty of hand holding and kissing. Sappy words were shared. Music was danced to. Even poems were read. Never take Todd to the library. He will read Auden to you very loudly and feel no shame.

This honeymoon phase lasted for a few months before a fight broke out. Nonetheless, they fell back into sync. Even if every once in a while the needle needed to be put back into place. Todd made Dirk's next two years at Cambridge unforgettable. Thereafter, Dirk became the famous bassist Todd had hoped he would be. The band was called Pink Midnight but he could wear his yellow jacket. The best part though was that Todd was right beside him as lead guitarist.


End file.
